Experts urge parents not to burden their children with unrealistic expectations

Experts urge parents not to burden their children with unrealistic expectations

Sukshma.R@timesgroup.com

Madurai:

With four NEET aspirants committing suicide in the last one week in the state, counsellors and experts urge parents to understand the need for psychological support towards their wards, especially as the students will be even more anxious before the declaration of the results.

“There is no single factor when it comes to a student taking the extreme step. However, unrealistic expectations always play a role, be it from the parents or the students themselves. In such cases, it means the person is not ready to accept who he/she is,” said Arthi Sujai, a psychologist from Madurai. She also added that often suicides are the result of ideation over a long time, which can be suddenly triggered.

Aravindan Ganesan, psychiatric counsellor, Athma Hospital in Trichy, said parents should not impose their expectations on their children. They should not say anything that may emotionally hurt them. He said parents should not avoid small warning signs that the children tend to show. Children may often isolate themselves and stop conversing with family members, which can be a red flag, he said.

“Parents need to be with their children during such times and avoid comparing them with their relative’s children. Teachers can guide them with alterative career opportunities. For instance, chemists are as significant as doctors in western countries,” said Aravindan.

“Career counselling helps both students and parents take a step back and figure out what they really want. Since we are able to quantify the abilities of the child and give suggestions for careers, both parents and children are more likely to accept the choices,” said Arthi, who is also a career counsellor.

Mental health experts said that the Covid-19 pandemic can also add to the stress for students and parents this year. “The Covid-19 pandemic definitely has had an impact on students preparing for NEET. They could only prepare by online means, which is more stressful than in a classroom environment,” said Dr N Suresh Kumar, clinical psychologist and secretary, Tamil Nadu Association of Clinical Psychologists (TNACP), which has a dedicated helpline for the Covid-19 pandemic.