Sunday, January 27, 2019

TOI 27.01.2019

WHY DADDY ISN’T SECOND TO MUM

A WEEKLY PICK OF STIMULATING IDEAS AND OPINIONS THAT HAVE APPEARED IN OTHER MEDIA, ONLINE AND OFFLINE

Men Impart Valuable Social And Life Skills To Their Children, And Provide A Sense Of Security For Taking Life-Shaping Risks

It is a common belief that men take on the duties of fatherhood reluctantly, but if that is so, why do they get involved in parenting at all? Evolution generally does not encourage males to devote resources to their offspring. An article in Aeon says only 5% of mammals have “investing fathers,” so, why do men opt for nappy duties?

Evolutionary anthropologist Anna Machin, who has written the book, “The Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father”, has some interesting ideas.

She writes that men came to have an important role in child-rearing because human babies are not only born weak and dependent, but also take many years to mature. While most species have three life-stages — infant, juvenile and adult — humans have two more: child and adolescent. Because of this extremely long dependent phase, it became necessary for the mother to take help from “someone who was as genetically invested in her child as she was.”

It is the woman’s interest to recruit help, but what’s in it for her man? Well, it’s no use fathering lots of babies if none of them survives. For men, the main point of mating is to pass on their genes, so protecting and providing for their children becomes worthwhile.

Doubters will say, if nature wanted men to be invested fathers, it would have given them an equivalent of the “maternal instinct”. It has, says Machin. Just as childbirth makes hormonal and brain changes in a mother, the father, too, undergoes some deep changes. There is an “irreversible reduction” in the level of the hormone testosterone, which reduces aggression and the urge to find new mates. The level of oxytocin also changes to make him “sensitive and responsive.”

Other hormones make a man enjoy interactions with his child. The instincts for nurturing and detecting threats become sharper, and fathers become better at “empathy, problem solving and planning.”

Because evolution hates redundancy, human fathers are not a carbon copy of mothers but complement them by fulfilling other important roles, says Machin. They impart valuable social and life skills to the child, and provide a sense of security for taking risks.

Brain scans show that when couples watch videos of their children, mothers have increased activity in the areas associated with affection and risk-detection, while fathers experience it in the areas associated with planning, problem-solving and social cognition.

Research also shows the importance of rough-and-tumble play for the child-father bond. Kids love to be thrown up in the air and tickled, so horseplay helps fathers bond with them quickly. More importantly, it teaches kids “how to judge and handle risk appropriately”, from an early age.

Even this is ordained by evolution, says Machin, as hormonal analysis shows “fathers and children get their peaks in oxytocin, indicating increased reward, from playing together.” That’s not to say children don’t like boisterous play with their mother, but they prefer cuddling with her.

Children who form a strong bond with their father go on to be more secure individuals who can “strike out and explore the world, safe in the knowledge we can always return to the focus of our attachment for affection and help.”

Attachment to the mother brings affection and care, says Machin, while attachment to the father makes children focus outward, “encouraging them to meet fellow humans, build relationships, and succeed in the world… It is fathers who aid the development of appropriate social behaviour, and build a child’s sense of worth.”

Clearly, the father is not incidental in a child’s life. Nature has given men the important role of ensuring not only their children’s survival but also their success.

For more: Aeon


LAUNCH PAD: Attachment to the father makes children focus outward, and encourages them to meet other people, build relationships, and succeed in the world

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