relationships
New expressions of love
Flower emojis, heart text, love videos are the new languages of love
Nona.Walia@timesgroup.com
For Generation Tik Tok, love emojis are the new poetry, and 2-minute love declaration videos, the new love letters. Love’s language in our digital age has got to be Instagrammable, emoji-fied and text-able. Don’t get us wrong. Flowers still matter as do romantic dinners. But when you are wooing people, who have grown up with emojis as expressions and YouTube as entertainment, the language of love is a bit more complex. And visual.
They say lovers find a language to communicate to each other. These days, it’s mostly through social media on our smartphones. Priya Agarwal’s venture BackPorch Memories collects WhatsApp chats of couples or Facebook photos of people, and collates them in an album or book format that people can cherish forever. “What if you meet your partner on Facebook?, she asks. “It is one of the platforms where lovers are making ‘eye contact’ for the first time these days. How do you turn these moments into life-long memories?” That’s how she caught on to the idea of her company.
Adds Agarwal, “Couples now want their WhatsApp messages to be in a book format. You may find it unbelievable but one couple preserves their 49,000 WhatsApp love exchanges and their selfies!”
Digital technology gives us all the unique chance to have our cherished moments preserved, and this generation wants to showcase their love-text history, display to the world how their love progressed. So, the texts, WhatsApp messages during courting have become the modern love letters.
Millennials are getting quite creative and using apps like Audiotool or Ujam to write their own love song or recite a poem to their loved ones. Emotions are conveyed through emoji flowers, hands-up and hearts signs. The dance of seduction happens through texting. That is the language of modern romance.
Erotologist Seema Anand says the days when people waited for romance to come in the form of a love letter are over. “There was disappointment if the postman didn’t have a letter for you; there was a skipped heartbeat if he did... During ancient times, Kama Sutra lovers exchanged messages through different types of paans, which had extensive erotic vocabulary – like a carefully crafted love letter and visually beautiful too. Emojis is that new language of love. It is instant as well as utilitarian.”
The cynic in us may sneer but the language of emojis isn’t that simple either. Adds Anand, “I find it fascinating. There is a lot of speculation involved for the one sending it and the one receiving emojis. It’s not quite as simple as merely using the ‘right’ emoji – it’s a far more complex engagement. Even emojis build tension and create trust – whatever is your love game.”
Says Gaurav Sen, doctor, “When I was courting my wife, there were a lot of times we would send this particular WhatsApp smiley to each other. It could mean a ‘yes’ or a ‘maybe’. There are a lot of emojis on various platforms that can be used to elevate the love game, keep someone guessing/pining, or pine yourself – depending on how you put these new mediums to use.”
OF LOVE AND TEXT-ISM
An ongoing online endeavour called, ‘The Love Text Project’ allows participants to upload their message histories. When the project is over, the messages will be used for research on the role of text messaging in building relationships and establishing intimacy. So far, some key metrics identified are: the frequency and length of messages, the number of mistakes, textisms (the language used in text messages, characterised by the use of abbreviations, symbols etc.), and the usage of key words such as ‘love’, ‘like’, and ‘you’, and the time between messages.
Says Jasmine Singh, 25, dietician, “You have to understand that emojis may seem universal but there is no ‘one emoji wins all’.” Different people react differently to some emojis. You have to move with caution and bear in mind the specific personality traits of the one you are pursuing.”
Emojis have completely changed the language of love. According to linguist Vyvyan Evans, author of
How Smiley Faces, Love Hearts and Thumbs Up are Changing the Way We Communicate, about 12 per cent of daily global emoji usage involves hearts (including broken ones). The red heart is the second most popular emoji. Would-be-lovers also use suggestive visuals, Instagram updates to hook the possible partner’s interest. Says romance author, Raksha Bharadia, “Digital laughter is the best way to grasp someone’s attention. Emojis have become the new feelings.”
Love, today, is an emoji in action.
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