HIV pulled them down, love gave hope 

Priya Menon | TNN | Updated: Dec 1, 2017, 00:11 IST

An infected needle turned Arun's* life upside down. In another part of the country, a blood transfusion brought Radhika's* dreams crashing down. But instead of letting their HIV+ve diagnoses fill their lives with negativity, they decided to stay positive. Brought together by a twist of fate and the late Dr Suniti Solomon, the pioneer of AIDS research in India, the couple is now proud parents to a 16-year-old, and productive members of society.

"When I was first diagnosed with HIV, I was terrified," says Chennai-based Arun, who was referred to Dr Solomon of YRG CARE. "She reassured me that I could still lead a normal life as long as I took medication, and adopted a healthy lifestyle. Getting to know other people living with HIV helped me overcome my fears," says Arun, who gave up smoking and drinking.

Two years later, when Dr Solomon asked him if he was looking for a life partner, Arun was ready to take the next step forward. "I hadn't told my parents or siblings that I am HIV+ve so they were keen to see me married. I wanted a companion but didn't want to spoil the life of another person, so I decided to marry a woman who was also HIV+ve," says Arun, an engineer.

Dr Solomon, who documented the first cases of HIV in India in 1986 among sex workers, took voluntary retirement in 1993 to establish YRG Care. In the latter part of her career — as people began living longer with generic anti-retroviral medications and faced the same pressure at home to get married — she began helping healthy patients find life partners. Though the centre has played 'matchmaker' for 30 couples so far, Arun and Radhika's was the first success story.

With Dr Solomon's encouragement, Arun decided to meet prospective brides. That's when Dr Solomon heard about Radhika, a young woman from Maharashtra. And once Arun met her and her family, he was quick to make up his mind.

Radhika, who takes tuitions at home, was also willing to take the plunge. "I didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life, and wanted the emotional support a partner can give," she says. The next hurdle was convincing his parents who were still unaware that he is HIV+ve. Arun's family was quick to come around and the only barrier was language.

But there was another, bigger challenge ahead. The couple, who got married in July 2001, discovered that Radhika was pregnant in September. "We were scared but both of us were on medication and our son, born in 2002, is HIV-ve," says Arun.

Till today, they have not disclosed their HIV+ve identity to friends, Arun's family, or their son.

"There is still some stigma attached to the disease as people have misconceptions about it," says Radhika. "But there is nothing to fear. We take our medicines every day, eat healthy and go to the hospital every six months to check our CD4 (white blood cell counts) and viral loads," says Radhika.

Arun says getting married and having a child has given direction to his life. "If you live on your own, you can get depressed. My outlook to life changed after marriage, and now I have a son to live and work for, which gives purpose to my life," he says.

He has just one word of advice for people. "If you are in the high-risk group, do go to the doctor and get an HIV test done. With timely and regular treatment, you can lead a normal life."